i keep running into people who have done this before, who offer to normalize living in vehicles not built to be lived in. i am doing it, but it doesn’t feel normal. it feels vast and wild and so full of potential that i have no choice but to face miracles day after day.

i don’t mean this figuratively. With this freedom to roam (admittedly stoked by the prior several months of isolation) has arrived a feeling of space so vast that for miracles there is not only room but also welcome. This is an expanse—the entirety of my here and now—that invites beauty, stirs synchronicity, tempts fate, asks, and answers.

This untethering from societal structures happened sooner, and much more abruptly, than i planned. i had an idea of this freedom—not so much living in my car as separating from social norms and expectations—as a future goal that i was working towards. Instead, it came to me.

Some days this is a difficult truth to own and face. On those days i have gotten distracted by the job, family, “real” life of someone near me. My goal was to never have a full-time job again. In this i have experienced such early success as to wonder a bit at it.

A family of nuthatches has arrived squeaking and chittering all around me just this moment. A chickadee is singing nearby. They give me no choice but to pause, reflect on my most recent words, and commit to the truth of this life i now lead.

Thanks, you guys.