i dream of love that comes and goes not quite predictably, but reliably. It bathes me in swaths like the sea against a rock, so that life flourishes where it has touched, is given room to do so. i dream of love that doesn’t apologize for being itself: salty, fresh, naked, fluctuating. Love that cleanses and sometimes burns; cycles back to tend to growth. Softens edges, patiently. i dream of love that brings gifts all organic, sometimes edible. Surprises that splash and treats that swim. i want love that swirls sometimes of an independent fury, and calms again. Love that weathers storms and plays with the wind. i dream of waves breaking against my shores. A home within myself that love will visit, every surf a new adventure. i dream of pools where everything blossoms precious, minute. i want a high tide to take my gifts away again. To my love, from my love. i dream of ebb and flow.

Bienvenido al momento de cambio! You can choose to attach yourself to the old ways of our world, or join the renaissance of resistance. Let this tiny pumpkin give you heart, dear friends. A new beginning is upon us, and no good change comes without struggle. Here is where we shed, and grow. Like trees readying for winter, our good work will be fruitful in its time, and beautiful along the way. Te amo mucho.

i don’t like how easy it is for some folks to decide to ignore the present in favor of the perceived future, but i do like the idea of that future.

In the meantime i’m feeling the same as ever: i want to grieve, collectively. Now i also want to hold space for the very real terror of our times. i want to usher in the evolution with nothing but respect for the deep, abiding pain on which it is borne.

Truly though, there’s so much to this nascent future, and a lot of it is really exciting. Relationships, including the one with our selves, are moving past their old boundaries. Careers are being rendered obsolete. “Success” is being redefined.

i have been asking after this definition for myself. Surely not only joy drives success, for me, but also discipline, fortitude, and community. Of course this last is loaded and somehow seems universally unclear. i just want to hold and be held, to the best of our abilities, to hear and be heard. To share meals.

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i want to tend my life

like farming

hopeful and humble

rising at dawn

bracing in storms

i want to sow my world

like gardening

sustenance

and beauty born

i ask the skies for cooperation

i offer my labor

trust

and patience

i want to care for all my life like a farm. Seeds sown with hope but minimal expectations. Some flowers won’t blossom while others outgrow their space. All life suffers and some things die; i don’t get to decide.

i want to tend to my existence like a garden. i’ll watch the sky and hope for balance. i can approach the animals and see if they’re interested in friendship. regardless, i can offer them food.

i will watch my bounty as it grows. Perhaps i will want to give more food or water, but i will hold myself steady and wait to see if anything asks.

One cannot force her will on a farm. One can only observe and address what she can. i want to do this every day. A life as rich as loam.