This time i have to leave because i bought and built out this adorable car and i wanna live in it. It’s actually that simple: i’m not into paying rent when i have such a great little home.

i wanna live in the space i built for myself out the depths of my own madness and the middle of an atrocious year; that space in my car as well as that space in my soul.

i am going on a trip i always hoped to do with a partner. Been waiting! Holding off and for what. Someone who loves me sent me a Billie Eilish song where she sings, “I’m supposed to be unhappy without someone, but aren’t I someone?” Yes, Billie. i too am in love with my future.

Isolation will teach you about yourself. Shit that you did not want to learn. Things that can make you reconsider nearly everything. If you haven’t been through this, i’d like to hear what you did this year. It got dark, and darker, and bright, and brilliant for me as i learned to take care of the fragile, courageous, multitudinous creature i am.

After a couple months of car life, i wrote to a pal: “i feel stronger than ever, yet deeply alone in a way that is at once isolating and bolstering.” i don’t feel this every day—that’d be boring—but i feel it. And i don’t quite understand it yet. And i want more.

So, far from my beloved airports and crowds of strangers speaking every language, and much more attached to the earth this time, i’ll go away again. i am scared. i am stoked. Adventure.