Yesterday i drove into the sunset from the Sierra mountains to the ocean. i went to bed late on Highway 1, waves crashing far below me. The morning was probably twice as beautiful as you’re imagining: birds, bees, butterflies, and a relentless, roiling surf.

Today i found Big Sur. Upon looking up at these massive, old as fuck trees, guess what happened? Nothing surprising: i burst into tears. The comedic kind that spurt like an explosion from probably the most terrible face i can make. i knew that the size of the trees and my respect for them was the catalyst for this eruption, and when i asked myself what else was going on, only gratitude arose.

Through tears i found myself thanking the forest, the universe, myself. Nearly three moons from my Maine departure, i have reached the ocean again. Even as i write this my vision blurs. The reality is that a deep peace settles into your soul when you pursue the life of your own dreams. The gift is that when you’ve done so, the universe will toss more realized dreams your way, almost casually. Here you go, you earned this.

Spending so long on the road alone, rarely lonely, every day in awe, fostered the comfort down in me. i have been feeling a new, yet permanent sense of resolve, assuredness, and fearlessness.

My calm, strengthened soul was then entirely blindsided by an abundance of luxurious, desired gifts that seemed to appear out of nowhere. Like a celebrity in flashbulb light i was stunned, covering my features and demanding my own space. i had felt quite content and secure before these intricate, gorgeous opportunities showed up. At first i did not want them, the way they disrupted my calm. At second i did not feel deserving. Being so selfishly focused of late, i felt unprepared.

It took a minute—and some generous coaxing—for me to realize that not only am i qualified for, i also deserve, this goodness. It turns out that both of these statements are true of everyone at any time; please don’t let your silly brain tell you differently.

Today, a proper acceptance speech could fall out of my mouth at any moment, including the part where i hyperventilate and gush that “never in my wildest dreams could i have hoped for this!” That would be a cute fib for everyone to agree on, when this is what i dreamed of all along.