The age of making bad decisions on purpose was a fun, terrible time that has long since ended. In our twenties my friend Arden found 氣功. He studied with masters and was beautiful with bright energy. He invited me to join the practice, which both then and now I wholeheartedly agree is mood-altering in the greatest of ways. “Arden,” the person I used to be leveled with him, “now is my time to fuck up. I have to save the serious stuff for later.” A claustrophobic childhood will make one wild with fury to gobble the world. Liberation from a stifling life had come finally in the form of my undergraduate degree, accomplished just before I met Arden. How I relished my first freedom! How I reveled in hedonistic, hell-bent, indulgence. Then, how natural it was to be eventually sated, so that in recent years I am more circumspect, quiet, careful. I practice 氣功 now. Every day, if I can manage it, which is like thrice a week at best. I have been enjoying growing up.

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