There are a lot of sayings about how in order to have the highs you need the lows, the yin and yang of life, complements. One of my personal favorites I think is Gibran, “Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?”

The thing about a trip like this is just that: some days are rough. Foreign places: money and transit systems, foods, people… it will all wear you out. Dealing with social expectations, being othered by smiles and stares and shade alike, the treatment of my–or any–female body, ordering food, random touching, garbage and waste on the streets, animals in pain… the list goes on.

The kind of day when you’re totally alone and misunderstood and pretty much done leaving the house? My friend Charity once called it a “Taiwan day”. We had something to attach it to, being expats, but I have those days in the States a lot, too. Taiwan days can happen anywhere, for lots of reasons. Carving space for your own adventure in an unfamiliar setting is, in a word, strenuous.

That is why we call this an adventure. It’s not a vacation. Vacations are for relaxing, as they should be! There have been beautiful days–weeks even!–of peace on this trip, but there have been a fair amount of Taiwan days, too. Once in a while, on the very worst of these days, I’ll find myself sulking quietly, thinking faith in people is something I’ll have more of tomorrow, maybe. It is from one such place that I write now, avoiding the news cuz gods know that wouldn’t help, beer in hand, aircon and TV on, pants off, pout on full.

As much as I’ll appreciate licking my wounds tonight, even as they are fresh I am certain that the highs match the lows. I am certain that I can handle, and enjoy, the whole adventure. And I am desirous of nothing less.