i returned (happy and sad) from Florida on Monday to a lovingly packed and parked car waiting at the airport full of food and (hopefully) everything i’d need for two weeks away from most humans. After rearranging for an hour in the CVS parking lot, i got my COVID test (oof) and headed for the farm.

Ezzie’s Brook Farm is owned by a rad dude, and i think we get along pretty damn well. He offered me a flat space to park/sleep and gave me farm chores in exchange for shower, laundry, and kitchen use. i have thoroughly fucking enjoyed waking up at 5:30 and letting all the birds out of their coops, changing all the waters, and feeding the piggies. i am grateful to report that the latter have been surprisingly gentle with me! i really dig the physical labor, and i genuinely look forward to learning about processing meat. i want to do so much more on the farm!

Buffalo gotta roam though, and the farmer had some great advice.

Although i enjoyed every moment until bedtime, over night it became unnerving to be out in the woods completely alone without cell/wifi, miles from town. i had rested so well in my car at the farm—i didn’t realize that it might be weird overnight elsewhere. As soon as the morning sun touched me, i was again happy to be by my stream, reluctant to leave, but i decided around midday to pack up and grab some wifi. Not sorry i did! Coming back was even sweeter, and after a long night of hanging with myself, i slept like a baby.

The sun shields i have in the windows keep the car super dark and chilly, so the second morning i stayed in blankets a while, cozy. When i peeled off the shields, the sun came in gently through the trees—the air outside the car was warmer but not hot, actually perfect. Bathing in a freezing stream is tricky when you’re not overheated, but i managed the important spots. i cooked some food, as i’ve been doing. Nothing complex—just coffee, oatmeal, noodles, eggs, and fruit. i have to admit to loving this diet and being able to graze all day.

Living out of the car is wild and amazing this way—everything is here! i just have to open the right door/bag to access the things i need. Having everything on your back has it’s perks for sure, but i sure love being able to carry a variety of food, all of my art stuff, some books, lots of tools—a whole kitchen! and so much more that isn’t completely necessary but is absolutely reassuring.

i have traveled alone before, but never like this. i have road-tripped before, but also not quite like this. i think life should be an adventure or nothing, but i was really scared for this one. i still am. i am afraid of being a female body alone (i have weapons i hope to never have to use, right where i’d need them if i did) in wild country. i almost never have a cell signal. There are many signs of bigotry and gun ownership around here. For the first time in my life, and only because of these circumstances, it’s okay with me that i’m not the same color as my mama. i think the US does a shit job of encouraging community, but i also think i should have a little more faith in strangers sometimes. i’ve spent so much of my life surrounded by cultures and communities that took care of each other, and there is so little of that to witness in the US that sometimes i just go ahead and assume there’s none. Logically, i am surely incorrect. And so it goes: it wouldn’t be an adventure if i wasn’t a little scared. And if life isn’t an adventure what even is it?

i am quite fuckin pleased to report that i am able, want, and love to do this. Little buffalo, built to roam.