Anyone thinking of owning a prius should know that mice are kind of their biggest fandom. Apparently these particular engine blocks are highly hospitable to guests, and whew, do i have tales of tails. Just now, just tonight i caught one in the act. i heard the familiar noises and had gone through my regular routine of turning on the car and a podcast and having a smoke. That’s right: there are familiar noises and a regular routine for this. i been living in Sorcha for a cumulative seven of the past ten months, so i am learning. Usually my deterrent routine is pretty effective, along with maybe a flashlight under the steering column. Often i can get some rest. Ah but no, this was a special guest.

i tucked myself in again thinking i might sleep. That hope was quickly dashed. i listened carefully as i turned my body around toward the front of the car. No sooner had i angled my searchlight when i caught the creature perched comfortably atop a gallon water jug i keep on the floor. We both stared and i shouted, “WhatTheFuckGetOUT!” affronted. That wee animal was too scared to run but i was offended at seeing it look fearless. After it took off i laughed at us both, and waited to see what would happen.

This tiny mouse had bulging black eyes, small ears, and a light brown coat over a bright white belly. It looked healthy, maybe even new. It looked like a teenager, reckless and gorgeous. i know this because i got to see it not once, but twice more, before my pitch reached an effective octave. It’s true that as the battle continues the urge to act out in anger increases. Upon our final encounter i made such a ruckus that this whole two inches of svelt rodent responded by stretching wide and flattening itself against the floor of my car in the way cartoonists admire. Despite appreciating this, i banged on the dash and shouted at it to get the fuck out you are not welcome. Let me also say i had asked politely before even seeing this dude, and several times since. This time, it scampered off and i’ve heard nothing since. That doesn’t mean i can sleep, not after so much excitement. Maybe i’ll see dawn.